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What a Mobile Country We've Become
I mean it. What a mobile country we have become with all the latest technology. Now, I'm not talking about IPads, IPhones and all of the other gadgets that all of us treat as necessities these days. I'm talking about all of the mobility devices we have created that keep us from having to actually move throughout our daily routines now that we have become so freekin' fat that a trip through the grocery store seems like a marathon. You know, the WalMart go carts that they provided some time back for the elderly and the disabled that we see in most of the stores now.
I'm not putting down the idea, it's a great idea and the kind of thing we should do as a decent society for the elderly and disabled. But disabled seems to include all of the disgustingly, obese people in this nation that need that walk through the store more than anyone because it may be the only opportunity for exercise out of the home that they have all day or week. And just imagine if someone who truly needed the assistance (wounded veteran) is standing in front of the store stranded because people who simply ate their way into immobility ( I'll call them "fatties" since "fat-fucks" may offend some) have already claimed the carts. (I won't even bring up the fact that there was no handicapped parking spaces available because healthy people like to take Grandma's car to the store with her nifty little placard) And after working at a local grocery store chain, I noticed that most of these folk aren't exactly shopping healthy either. Stocking up on all of the snacks and soda to maintain they're playing weight I guess ?
But wait...there's more.
No more of this senseless walking aroung the house, pesky getting up, and ridiculous walking up stairs lifestyle for you fatties anymore ! Once again, items that were advertised to help the elderly and disabled get around their homes easier, have been overwhelmingly adopted by the fatties with a rousing yell of, "Awesome, I don't have to exercise now !"
First there were the little scooters for the home and for getting outdoors, all the while...sittin on yer ass.
Then they came up with the stair lift so you can get up and down the stairs... sittin' on yer ass.
Now they have the custom tubs so you can easily get in and out and clean yourself...sittin' on yer ass. There seems to be a theme here.
Folks, we are but a couple of steps away from total Fattie Nirvana ! A bed designed to gently lift you in and out of your scooter, that is now designed with toilet facilities beneath the seat. That's right, virtually no effort in getting up and in your scooter. Very little effort in getting on and off the toilet and in and out of the tub. Now we just maneuver down the hall and get on our stair lift and proceed to the downstairs scooter. Once there, we get ready to get out of the house and get some exercise. There is a little effort and "off ass" time getting in and out of the vehicle, and although Pa dropped you off right in front of the store, you do have to walk that 13 feet to the store scooter, but Ma is out of Doritos and Pepsi. Look what technology has done for us, a trip to the store and we still maintained a 96.3% "on ass" ratio ! Rest assured fatties, they are working diligently on eliminating that 3.7% percent as we speak. And don't forget the new and improved scooter with toilet facilities ! We got the food we needed and took a piss in the frozen section without anyone being the wiser.
Don't get me wrong, I love my snacks, and in my middle age I became well-rounded. But at some point you have to wake up and put down the fork and start getting some exercise. When you can't get around and your becoming a burden to yourself and all furniture, do something ! They've been coming down on smokers for two decades now, it's time to get serious about the bigger overall health problem in this country. Maybe if they increased the fast-food and junk food prices by 800% like they did with cigarettes, it would slow some of these people down.
Or maybe Ma would hit the gas on her scooter and run you down for Dorito and Pepsi money....all the while...sittin' on her ass !